If you’re like most people, you’re constantly fielding questions to take on more work, do more things. Asks can be small or large, and human nature makes us want to say “yes”. Saying “yes” makes people happy, it can give them instant gratitude, but what we don’t realize is sometimes saying “yes” brings more unhappiness in the long run.
You’re asked for an increase of scope on your project, or asked to bring another project from the backlog and start working on it, things which may seem doable on the surface. Saying “yes” is the easy part, you’re avoiding a conflict and a difficult conversation in the short run, but what’s happening in the long run? By not having the courage to say “not now”, you can create a bigger unhappiness with people when you’re not able to deliver.
I’ve found a great Harvard Business Review article that has a framework, it’s simple and it helps give you the steps.
- Assess the Ask
- A Well-Reasoned No
- An Effective Yes
Personally for me in life it’s not really a “no”, it’s a “not now”. Do you want to go hiking this weekend, it’s not “no” I never want to go hiking, it’s just I don’t want to go hiking that day. Do you want to go back to school for a Phd? I’m answering for what I want to do right now, no I don’t want to do my PhD right now, but who knows later in life, maybe I’ll do my PhD when I’m 70 years old and have some extra time on my hands.
Life is full of difficult conversations, personally it’s about agreeing to what I know I can deliver on right now and adds value.